After fake Pastors and Prophets, fortune-tellers to soon treat patients.

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....And may Sarcasm give you Orgasm.

New Delhi – Taking cue from fake Christian pastors treating patients with equally poor acting skills, the government plans to start OPDs on similar lines where astrologers, palmists and vastu experts will ‘diagnose’ and treat patients. Horoscopes and kundalis will be the mainstays of such facilities that would apparently dispense medical advice to the sick and the vulnerable.

In an exclusive interview with the Quackdoses, Health Minister Harsh Vardhan said, “Already the educated Indians are looking at muhurats to undergo planned surgeries these days. In such proposed OPDs, the team of experts will study the planetary combinations at the exact time the questions are asked, to arrive at the right astrological diagnosis & treatment. The bridge course and astrologers are coming now, the tantriks will soon follow”.

Expressing shock at the government’s proposal, the Indian Doctor’s Association released a press statement claiming that such initiatives were nothing but promotion of the RSS agenda. The association also expressed fear that we were not far away from a day when ‘gau mutra’ will be sprinkled on patients before they are wheeled into the operation theater.

Meanwhile, the Academy of Motion Pictures has announced that this year’s Oscar nominations for best actor will only go to such Pastors and their patients, and the award ceremony will begin by observing a 2 minute silence for Indian Healthcare.

P.S – “Whosoever after reading this post does not press the like button, be ready to face the consequences. Feel the vibration of my power and then talk to me. Praise Quackdoses, Hallelujah”- Jesus.

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An Emergency Physician by profession; writer, musician, entrepreneur, sportsman and a poet by passion, Dr. Mohit Garg is currently working as Consultant & Head of the Emergency & Trauma department at Sarvodaya Hospital & Research Centre, Faridabad. Apart from his zeal to write, he is also passionate about academics and is involved in teaching activities to young doctors, nurses and other health care professionals. This website is a source through which he fulfills his talent to write, and also to bring about a social change for the medical fraternity.

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