As I awoke in the wee hours of dawn waiting for the sun rays to embark on my window flower bed , I was subconsciously going through the ‘to -do ‘ list in my mind’s eye, when a huge smile crossed my face as I realised it’s Sunday. Yet as I continued to ponder in solace – “Was I a good mother? ”
This is one of the questions that haunts most of us doctor moms . But am sure their thoughts would resonate with mine when I say-
> I’ m a mother , a doctor,
> nurse, coach n a giver,
> an employee, a cook, maid n shopper,
> a boss, trainer n a great back rubber,
> I’m a tutor, friend, gardener n baker,
> a cheerleader, clown, n a budget maker,
> a chauffeur, barber, stylist, n a teacher,
> a party planner n even a preacher !!
These multiple roles are well juggled by doctor moms irrespective of the fact that they were up through the night, attending emergency patients, or tending to the needs of their little babies; they’re up when the alarm rings at 5.30 -6am. Now the ordeal starts from breakfast itself . One of the big challenges is to ensure that kids have nutritious meals packed with the essential quota of proteins n vitamins, low carbs; matching the typical homemaker mom’s expertise; and that too in less than half an hour! So moms are expected to have the culinary skills of a gourmet chef, dishing out meals with interesting names for their kids to flaunt. A regular paratha-sabji also tastes yummy when labelled veg frankie/spicy paneer wrap; or the humble pulao becomes mexicano rice with lentils and delicious veggies!!
The day whisks past as they enter familiar terrain-hospital; and the mom within is immediately transformed to a professional the minute she begins driving through mad traffic .Irrespective of her driving skills, whether she had to take a steep turn to save the cow or a reckless biker ; or she had a car that broke down or faced a traffic jam, she has to be on time.
Finally when through with work and back home, they are greeted with hugs and kisses, tired kids with growling stomachs yearning to run off to play; their craft work, debate debacles, worrisome maths and troublesome computers; along with filing up income tax returns , pending grocery list, birthday party gifts, along with evening clinic in parallel, definitely puts their organisational skills to test. I wonder – “If evolution really works how come mothers have only two hands ?”
The cherry on the cake is when you think you are almost done at 9pm, there’s a quiet announcement that school project-‘activity’ is pending and to be submitted the next day. Now they certainly feel their patience and stamina may give way. But they hang on and help putting their creative talents to use resisting the urge to lose temper . “Mother”- I feel , is a verb, not a noun!!
If you have a 2year old, its kinda having a blender without a top for it. But if you have a school-goer, you should also be updated on practically anything from fashion, music, dance to social nuances of playground . And yes, moms are expected to be fashionistas and have the ever smiling look of moms in tv commercials.!! Poor moms, most of them enrol in a gym and are not even half a kg slim 🙂)
Sunday – supposedly a ‘fun day” turns out more gruelling than a regular week day. There’s a tug of war between winding up household chores, linen, laundry, homework, classes, Sunday lunch and maid’s declaration to take the week off ;on one hand ; and CMEs, conferences on the other. Home front invariably wins the war(for those who don’t go on ‘visits’) .But if CMEs overtake, mind remains preoccupied with the happenings at home and the heart knows – tomorrow’s ‘to-do’ list is getting long and the Sunday’s surely gone ! It was my deep desire to experience the thrill of a roller coaster ride at least once in my life time – but not everyday -REWIND AND REPEAT….leaving me dizzy and dazed by night !!
So doctor moms who themselves are a panacea of human lives, how do they seek solace to their souls? Where do these perfectionist’s finally draw the line? I feel they should develop an attitudinal change. They shouldn’t get competitive with other women. Some would be able to give more time to their clinics .Some would do better school projects. Another would lose more weight with a better diet n some would be great chefs. So do your best, but don’t keep looking out for that report card and definitely don’t expect to top the class.Its humanly impossible. If it were possible , we would have reached nirvana and attained salvation !!
I look around and wonder why do people view doctor moms differently? She may look serious and mature, but is still a girl at heart.So cherish her and celebrate who she really is . AND most importantly let her be…. She wasn’t born to take care of you; its her heart that makes her do so…!
This is for every wonderful woman I know. So ladies , grow up ….but take your own sweet time and let the little girl in you live forever.
-Dr Sonali Rawal