The following is a work of fiction and bears no resemblance to any person living or dead. The QuackDoc takes no responsibility of your moron IQ to believe it and it cannot be used in a court of law as materialistic evidence. Reader’s discretion is advised.
It all began as a “chu chu” to the neighbor and progressed to sitting with the answer sheet held straight vertically for the person sitting behind to see… with soaring confidence levels and the sense of achievement post exam without being caught, all doctors begin the journey to be the masters of copying, till we stop giving exams forever.
So after going through countless never ending exams in 4.5 years, Every Munnabhai and Munnibehen MBBS learn the following tricks of the exam trade:-
Step 1-While preparing for the exam, inquire if any Registrar has seen the question paper and is kind enough to share the vital piece of information. Be in touch with people from the hostel even if you have not spoken to them for the entire year.
Step 2- Pray that an intern / friendly houseman is sent as the invigilator so that he/she can stand at the door as a guard, may be help as a partner in crime and warn you when the seniors are around.
Step 3- Check if the micro Xeroxes have come properly without the last words missing and the mobile has proper network coverage for its GPRS for E books.
Step 4- Try going early to catch the second last bench (last benchers are usually called forward) in the corner row and make a scholar sit next to you with tall colleagues in front.
Step 5- Purely based on skills and guts. To have an open book in your lap with the best watch dogs around, never get caught while passing answer sheets, sitting in a posture with the entire answer visible to your neighbor…and lastly, good acting skills with a real tear even if you get caught (Gender bias exists here too….there exists a misconception that girls never copy)
Our Observations :-
1) In every exam, the person sitting in the middle row on the first bench is the most unlucky person in the batch. He curses his luck…the back benchers can’t stop themselves from laughing every time THE ONE looks back and makes an eye contact…Also, unlucky are those who have geeky ‘matlabi’ neighbors who never HELP THEIR FRIENDS IN NEED.
2) Exam starts, and so the ‘WASH UP’ / ‘WARMUP’ is done in the timing for the MCQs… Wait for people around to finish INQUIRING the answers of MCQs from the reliable-better knowledgeable neighbors and then finally write them all down in the last 5 minutes of the 30 minutes given…IT FEELS LIKE THE RAPID FIRE ROUND OF A GAY TALK SHOW. ( Karan and Shahrukh, nothing personal)
3) Be Jealous when you realize that the entire batch is copying from someone or the other and you are sitting, in your dreamy sleepy world looking at them with bubbles of expectations in your head waiting for the animal in you to wake up and fill pages full of crap in the last 15 minutes.
4) Taunt the person from whom you copied the entire paper when he/she scores less marks than you.
Conclusion:- Looking back at those high tension days, the journey of every MBBS from being a geek who considered copying a sin in school to become a Master is memorable…and we are glad to be part of it.
