Mumbai: In developments that have sent shockwaves through the global healthcare community — and reportedly prompted “serious discussions” at the Oval Office — the CEO of the renowned Quackdoses Multispeciality Hospital has received a Nobel Peace Prize nomination from the hospital’s Operation Theatre (OT) department, after successfully mediating a long-standing Cold War between the anesthesiologist and the chief surgeon.
It is a well-known fact that surgeons and anesthesiologists share one of the most entertaining “love-hate” relationships in medicine — their banter is practically an international tradition. While the anesthesiologist quietly saves the patient’s life, the surgeon loudly takes the credit. Their dynamic has often been compared to a marriage: the surgeon takes the lead, the anesthesiologist keeps things calm, and when something goes wrong in the OT — the surgeon looks at the monitor, the anesthesiologist looks at the surgeon, and everyone looks at the nurse, as both parties blame each other.
In an exclusive statement, the OT nurse-in-charge said, “When the CEO was informed that the anesthesiologist and the surgeon were arguing again — this time over excessive bleeding and hypotension — he immediately warned both sides that CAPEX approval for the OT would be withheld unless they agreed to an immediate ceasefire. His phone call instantly ended the conflict — a historic, unprecedented achievement. Nobody in the history of this hospital has stopped eight wars in nine months. He accomplished what no one else has — regularly de-escalating tensions in the hospital’s most volatile department. This nomination reflects not only our appreciation but also the heartfelt gratitude of the OT staff. He truly is the CEO of peace.”
Hospital insiders say celebrations were short-lived, however, as hostilities reportedly resumed approximately 17 minutes later — after the surgeon allegedly asked, “Who gave so much fluid?”
