Ayurvedic doctor collecting cow urine mistaken for smuggler, thrashed.

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New Delhi: Amid growing instances of cow related violence in the country, an Ayurvedic doctor was thrashed by a violent mob last evening in the Tabelaghat area, after being mistaken for a cow smuggler. A group of self proclaimed ‘gau rakshaks‘ who witnessed the doctor collecting urine from the sacred animal subjected him to hefty blows, misinterpreting the act as a sexual assault on the holy cow.

In an exclusive interview with the Quackdoses, the victim (identity withheld) said, “I was merely collecting the ‘gaumutra’ for treating my patients. I tried to stop the mob by telling them that I’m a doctor. However, the mob misunderstood me to be an allopathic doctor and started beating me even more with lathis. The crowd of people who gathered to witness the incident never came forward for any help. They were completely engrossed in recording the video or playing Ludo over their mobile phones.”

Expressing solidarity with the victim, Baba Ramdev’s Patanjali Industries released a press statement claiming that cow urine is the magical solution to a variety of incurable diseases such as cancer and AIDS. It acts by purifying the human body and soul by the process of detoxification. Moreover, being of natural origin, it is devoid of side effects. Patanjali plans to soon launch the product with added strawberry flavor, to improve its palatability.

The incident has infuriated many ‘vigilant citizens’ of the country and is currently being condemned widely over social media. Delhi’s CM, Arvind Kejriwal who recently underwent surgery for ‘Foot in the Mouth’ disease after the Lok Sabha elections also criticized such a dastardly act on twitter and plans to sit on a dharna in front of the Delhi Lieutenant Governor’s residence. However, the President of the local Hindu party has committed his support for the accused and warned that any person laying hands on his ‘religion defenders’ would be publicly beheaded.

Meanwhile, former Congress President Rahul Gandhi has sharpened his attack on Prime Minister Narendra Modi and demanded his resignation. He also revealed the Congress tagline for the 2024 elections, “Gai hamari mata hai, aage kuch nai aata hai. Baiel hamara baap hai, BJP ko vote dena paap hai.”

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