Delhi’s Toxic air leaves jilted husband gasping for breath.

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Police constable Ramdev carrying the hysterical Arnab to AIIMS in Delhi.

New Delhi: With Delhi’s air pollution touching ‘severe’ category again today, the swift actions and presence of mind shown by a Delhi police constable Baba Ramdev proved crucial in saving a youth’s life as he foiled a suicide bid in the national capital.

Arnab Goswami, a resident of Dhua Kuan, was reportedly trying to end his life by doing pranayam without a mask in Delhi. He was found breathing furiously in a trance-like state when Ramdev swiftly deduced that the youth might have been performing breathing exercises like kapalbhati and anulom-vilom, which can be fatal if the Air Quality Index is >2000. Mr. Ramdev was quick to provide a sharp tactile stimulus to his maxillary eminence and placed him in Shavasan position to ease his breathing before taking him to a nearby AIIMS hospital in his arms.

In an exclusive interview with the quackdoses, Dr. T.R Akea who was treating him said, “Arnab had an altercation with his wife after he failed to compliment the color of her new N-95 mask which matched her kurti. The levels of superoxide particles in his blood stream had crossed 250 mcg/dl for which the maximum permissible limit is 20 mcg/dl. He was immediately administered the IV Bovine Renal Ultrafiltrate (Gaumutra™) to reduce the levels of toxins in his bloodstream and later placed on mechanical self-ventilation. We also found several Air Quality Index monitoring apps on his mobile phone and it seems that he had been obsessively searching for ‘most polluted area in Delhi’ for the last few days.”

AIIMS Poison Centre has issued an advisory today that a buffer stock of Bovine Renal Ultrafiltrate is being maintained in the emergency center to handle such cases and have urged men to compliment not only their friend’s wives and girlfriends, but sometimes also their own.

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