It is fun to be witty / sarcastic with patients in the Emergency Department at times.
A 30 year old ‘Fattu’ male, had come with complaints of chest pain and palpitation around midnight 4 days back. We did a complete work up on him including ECG, Cardiac Enzymes, 2 D Echo which were all normal, a Cardiologist’s consultation was taken and patient was then discharged.
He presented again yesterday. Here is the interaction.
Me: “We got your entire work up done 3 days back…your heart is fine. Don’t worry”.
Patient: “Doctor, is there a way I can still be sure my heart is normal?”
Me: “If you are still worried about it, you can get a CT Coronary Angio done for yourself. It will tell us about the arteries supplying the heart if they have any blockages.”
Patient: “Doctor, if that CT Angio comes out normal too, is there a way we can still be sure my heart is fine?”
Me: “Then you can go for further investigations, get a Cardiac MRI done.”
Patient: “Doctor, if that Cardiac MRI comes out normal too, can we be still sure my heart is fine?”
Me (Irritated by now) : “Yes, then the only way is to do an Autopsy (Post Mortem) on you to see if your heart WAS fine.”
Total Silence……and his brother gives me a High Five.
But it doesn’t end there…
Patient (Just before going out)– “Doctor, what were the 2 tests you told?”