Baprola, New Delhi- In a shocking revelation after being holed up in the washroom for 48 hours, 2 time Indian Olympic medalist Sushil Kumar Shinde has revealed that he suffered from 6 episodes of loose motions before the final fight and was completely dehydrated when he went in.
“Sir, I was suffering from pain in abdomen ever since that hot chick in red took away all the limelight from me in the official walk of the Indian Contingent 17 days back. Today my condition worsened. While in the washroom, they kept calling my name for the bout (The fight rounds are called bout). I didn’t care what it was all about.” said a dejected Sushil in a post fight interview with our Faking News: Doctor’s Lounge samwadata Arun Swaminathan.
Apparently, a concerned Baba Ramdev ended his fast abruptly to attend to the ailing Sushil to personally teach him Kapalbhanti and bring back all the black money from London’s Buckingham Palace.
A local Pandit, Ravi Shastri who had performed a Hawan at Sushil’s house before his London departure said, “ While Sushil was holding the Japanese wrestler Tatsuhiro Yonemitsu in the doggie position from behind, I saw a transparent gas fume up from the opponents rear. I think it was some biological weapon or a conspiracy of the Japanese to prevent India from getting a Gold medal.”
A committee has now been setup to investigate the matter. Meanwhile Sushil’s blood and stool samples have been sent to LTMGH for a battery of tests. It has now been unanimously decided by all nations to ban Acute Gastroenteritis from participating in the Olympics hence forth.
“I wish I could give a Dhobi Pachad to that girl in red”, concluded Sushil.