Mumbai: In spite of Bihar Chief Minister Jitan Ram Manjhi’s threat last today to cut off the hands of doctors if they don’t work or go on strike, the shameless doctors across the state have once again gone on a flash strike accusing patients of perennially cursing their good handwriting. The decision was taken by the Doctor’s Association following an attack on a colleague Dr.V.I.Agra’wala when his patients died after consuming more than the prescribed amount of Sildenafil.
Patients in past have made several allegation that what doctors write is not intended for the public to see but only for themselves and their peers. “The way ‘Normal’ people write is decipherable amongst all because everyone knows what to look for. The illegible doctor handwriting is ‘Made Not Born’. How could anyone get through college far less medical school writing so badly?,” asked Ganpat Shah who too has been taking treatment for erectile dysfunction.
“Why hold the innocent Doctors responsible when the patient’s wife wanted more?”, argued Dr.Har’dick, the secretary of the Doctor’s Association.
Hearing about the outrage in heaven through he QuackDoc, Steve Jobs offered to develop a software called ‘I-Rx’ where standard printed prescription could be written by verbal commands, but protesting doctors disagreed to using technology stating their prescription changes frequently depending on the gifts they get from the medical representatives.
“How can the doctor’s be so heartless? At least the Emergency Departments should be running. I’m getting dark and I’m worried”, said worried Dharavi resident Isratunissa. In view of the strike, many ICU patients were forced to sign the DAMA form (Discharge against medical advice) and packed home. Unconfirmed reports also claimed that few rioting doctors stole the ‘Anatomical Snuff Boxes’ from the pharmacy after scaring the pharmacist with their ‘claw hand’.
Municipal Union of Hospital Services (MUHS) has now decided to make Doctors sit for a handwriting exam from 2015 before issuing graduation degrees to make sure that they can write something readable by the general public and not just by the chemist.
A Few Doctor Handwriting Tips from Faking News: Doctor’s Lounge
- Abbreviate – It’s much faster to write ‘SOB’ than ‘shortness of breath’.
- Write small – Distance takes time so writing tiny saves time.
- Skip vowels – Can u rd ths sntnce? Most sentences can be read without vowels.
- Write the first two or three letters legibly then Scrawl. Doctors use the same words over and over so it only takes one or two letters in context to recognize a specialized word eg.