THE ART OF LIVING

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The following is a work of fiction and bears no resemblance to any person living or dead. The author takes no responsibility of your moron IQ to believe it and it cannot be used in a court of law as materialistic evidence. Reader’s discretion is advised.

Remember, the old school days…Ever since we were small and started going through the tough ordeal of giving exams, we began our fight to be the best….get the best marks so that we could be the tinkle of our teachers eyes…study hard…copying was considered a sin initially by us all because parents always taught, “Nakal utarna, gandi baat”.

But as the studies became more tough, competition becomes more fierce and intense during school, the urge came from within that if everyone is doing it, why shouldn’t we…initially, it begins as a “chu chu” to your neighbor and progresses to sitting with the answer sheet held straight vertically for the person sitting behind to see….and so with soaring confidence levels and the sense of achievement post exam without being caught, we begin the journey to be the masters of copying, till we stop giving exams forever…

I’m writing this because looking at the current scenario in college, everyone being bombarded with exams… all my juniors sitting in the RR looking rather worried, I cant help but get lost in those memories of me being in their place during my UG days…I would be wrong to say, “batch mein, sabse jyada meri hii phatti rehti thi”… after all, we were all in the same boat…THICK BOOKS, THICK BOOKS EVERYWHERE AND NOT THE TIME TO READ !! Nevertheless, giving internal exams used to be so much fun…

So after going through countless never ending exams in 4.5 years, Every Munnabhai and Munnibehen MBBS learn the following tricks of the exam trade…

Step 1-While preparing for the exam, inquire if any Reg has seen the question paper and is kind enough to share the vital piece of information. Be in touch with people from the hostel even if you have not spoken to them for the entire year.

Step 2- Pray that an intern / friendly houseman is sent as the invigilator so that he/she can stand at the door as a guard, may be help as a partner in crime and warn you when the seniors are around.

Step 3- Check if the micro Xeroxes have come properly without the last words missing and the mobile has proper network coverage for its GPRS for E books.

Step 4- Try going early to catch the second last bench (last benchers are usually called forward) in the corner row and make a scholar sit next to you with tall colleagues in front.

Step 5- Purely based on skills and guts…to have an open book in your lap with the best watch dogs around, never get caught while passing answer sheets, sitting in a posture with the entire answer visible to your neighbor…and lastly, good acting skills with a real tear even if you get caught (Gender bias exists here too….there exists a misconception that girls never copy)

In every exam, the person sitting in the middle row on the first bench is the most unlucky person in the batch. He curses his luck….the back benchers can’t stop themselves from laughing every time THE ONE looks back and makes an eye contact….Also, I consider them unlucky too who have geeky ‘matlabi’ neighbors who never HELP THEIR FRIENDS IN NEED….or will themselves expect you to tell them the answer but, when you are struggling, will reply in negative…

Exam starts, and so the ‘WASH UP’ / ‘WARMUP’ is done in the timing for the MCQs…Like me, there were many who used to wait for people around to finish INQUIRING the answers of MCQs from the reliable-better knowledgeable neighbors and finally write them all down in the last 5 minutes of the 30 minutes given….IT ALWAYS USED TO FEEL LIKE THE RAPID FIRE ROUND OF A GAY TALK SHOW…Karan and Shahrukh, nothing personal…

The feeling of jealousy is at its peak when you realize that the entire batch is copying from someone or the other and you are sitting, in your dreamy sleepy world looking at them with bubbles of expectations in your head…may be waiting for the animal in you to wake up and fill pages full of crap in the last 15 minutes…Looking at the unexpected result, sometimes its so much fun and taunting to realize that the person whom you copied the entire paper from scored less marks than you…can’t help but thank your stars…

Exams have fun moments too…We all smile when someone gets caught red handed, the news spreads like wild fire to the batch mates in the other rooms…..I remember one instance distinctly, it was the surgery exam and everyone was quietly writing pages full of answers considering we all had the books on our lap…A senior teacher, UG – PG both from LTMMC just peeped inside the room for a surprise visit and there was a loud thud with everyone closing their books suddenly and dropping them…Surprisingly, he just smiled, turned back and left without saying a word…We all smiled and had a sigh of relief too….But we didn’t worry, we all knew, surgery, ENT and forensic papers were never checked until now days….a reason for juniors to be more worried now.

Well, the ordeal for my batch and my seniors is over now…..I’m sure the juniors are not too far behind, may be they have devised better ways of copying by now…but looking back at those high tension days, the journey of every MBBS from being a geek who considered copying a sin in school to become a Master of copying has been memorable…and I’m glad I was part of it.

Now waiting patiently for the next opportunity, to show off our skills after years of practice……till the day we will tell our children, “Nakal utarna, gandi baat”.

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An Emergency Physician by profession; writer, musician, entrepreneur, sportsman and a poet by passion, Dr. Mohit Garg is currently working as Consultant & Head of the Accident & Emergency department at Gleneagles Global Hospital, Mumbai. Apart from his zeal to write, he is also passionate about academics and is involved in teaching activities to young doctors, nurses and other health care professionals. This website is a source through which he fulfills his talent to write, and also to bring about a social change for the medical fraternity.

3 COMMENTS

  1. Quote:
    "I’m sure the juniors are not too far behind, may be they have devised better ways of copying by now…"

    Wikipedia…

    Quote:
    "may be waiting for the animal in you to wake up and fill pages full of crap in the last 15 minutes…"

    it's "crap" truly…lol

    Quote:
    "Try going early to catch the second last bench (last benchers are usually called forward) in the corner row and make a scholar sit next to you with tall colleagues in front."

    Stole my line.

    Quote:
    "(Gender bias exists here too….there exists a misconception that girls never copy)"

    Goddamnit. They never look at guys during pracs whole of the year, and keep staring at us for whole of exam time.

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